Colour me loving my life

Today I am having one of those moments where I am just sitting back and enjoying my life. A long weekend will do that to you because how fast does that short week go? Yay! But more importantly, I am loving my simple, happy {busy} life.

Earlier this week I mentioned my overwhelm. It has been very present but I am sitting with it :: processing it :: letting it work itself out :: getting comfortable with it :: working out how to manage it :: moving on from it. I haven’t got all the answers yet but I am feeling closer to finding them. Perhaps my resilience is strong or perhaps I am just doing a bit of this…

Yep. Probably that.

But really, in the whole scheme of things I am doing well. I am feeling more in control…whatever that means. I am feeling something that is good and more importantly I am not feeling my anxiety. That makes for a good week in my book.

This week I am all about loving:

1. A long weekend : My long weekend was just delightful. I am so aware of how lucky we are to be able to do little expeditions like this one to the big smoke. Despite sharing a hotel with five other people in a small space, we were all good.

Begging for a tram ride!

An excellent Allpress long black at Jack Horner

Game face ON at the Zoo. Anyone else have a parenting face?

2. Catching up with friends : My goodness gracious good friends are good for the soul aren’t they? So many goods. Muchas goodness.

Here I am with the Style & Shenanigans posse trying desperately to stay stylish in amongst the shenanigans!

3. My topsy turvy frustrating, loving, little slice of crazy : my family drive me nuts on a daily basis but at the end of that busy chaotic messy day, they are who I want to hug.

Yup. Yours too?

So tell me how your week was? And your long weekend? I hope it has been a great one x

 

 

Colour me loving school holidays, a single page + sockettes

Welcome to my first Colour me loving!

Each Friday I’ll share the things that I am loving that week. Sometimes there will be several things and other times, perhaps only one. It will vary from feelings to events to things that I really like.

It is kind of a gratitude list I guess. Perhaps it is a reverse bucket list where I just take a moment to appreciate all the radness that I already have in my life instead of lusting after what I don’t. Other times it will be completely materialistic.

So here goes…

1. School holidays : Long enough to relish the lack of routine, short enough not to get too cranky with the kids and the mess and the relentless snacking. I won’t miss the ‘Gracie and Mommy Show’ though. That YouTube abomination is enough to make you want to stick pins in your eyes. And that Stampy guy from the Minecraft videos. [Insert horrified emoji here.] And judging by the photos, I clearly like taking the kids out for coffee and lying on the couch!

         

2. Being on the same page : Even with the lack of routine, the Baker and I are on the same page. It really feels awesome. You can read more about what I mean here. And this is how we literally stay that way. You can buy yours from Kikki-K or just use a regular piece of paper. I like pretty things. We also invite each other to every single appointment that might affect the other so our phones beep and it stops that, “I really need you at home tonight” panic conversation.

3. Sockettes : Normally these things send me into a spin on account of the forty bazillion times a day I need to adjust them. Then I discovered these ones that not only look funky but freaking work. Huzzah! Grab a pair here and thank me later.

Rollies + Gorman footsies = Happy Anna!

So tell me, what have you been loving this week?

Colour me a long black

I freakin’ love coffee.

the smell : the ritual : the take away container : the five minutes of peace in a cup if I am by myself : the three minutes of happiness if I am balancing it with a limb shooting toddler : the beans : the grinder : the happy barista : the instagram : the need for it : the love

I even like searching for coffee. I will drive kilometres out of the way for my daily grind.

I freakin’ love the stuff. Did I mention that I freakin’ love the stuff?

The problem is that the stuff doesn’t always love me. In fact, right now it is really, really not liking me. Do you know how heart breaking this is? I feel like I have been dumped by a cup of joe.

You see, coffee loves anxiety.

the racing heart : the beating chest : the rush : the adrenaline : the palpitations : the high : the desire : the need to get a fix

For someone like me, this is a tough combination.

In my darkest days, I restricted myself to one cup. I only ever drank it mid morning as I remember going into panic whilst drinking it at 8am with my hand waving, emotion flailing panicked self trying to get out the door for the school run. But then I got stronger again, my resilience was awesome and my colourful armour of calm was protecting me in every way.

So I let an extra coffee a day in. My beautiful long black in the morning became a repeat treat a few hours later. And from there I went happily along in my daily ritual. Blessed in the socialisation of coffee and all that it brings.

Then I panicked.

Panic means that my system is racy, my nerves are jittery and the likelihood of me panicking again is quite real. There is far too much adrenaline going on at the moment. All the time in fact. And because the thought, even the inkling, that I may panic again is one of the worst, most terrifying feelings that I have possibly known then I need make a change.

So my cup of joe is a solo adventure once more. Just the one. I can’t deal with the headache of giving it up all together so I will manage with my just one.

My cup is half full. I’d like two full cups but I’ll let that slide. I will see the positive in this small daily change. I will reap the benefits eventually. My shaky system will calm and I will calm as well.

But you, you gorgeous cup of joe, I will love you and leave you for now. It is me not you. I need to change and you can’t come with me.

Colour me calm, please.

Please colour me blue.

Calm + mindful I will be once more.